Infertility is a deeply personal and often silent struggle that affects so many women—whether it’s you, a friend, or someone in your family. It’s a topic that can feel isolating, confusing, and overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Erica Hoke, infertility coach, author, and mom of four, is on a mission to empower women to take control of their fertility journeys. Her story is inspiring, and her approach is refreshingly down-to-earth and actionable.
Let’s dive into her journey, the lessons she’s learned, and how she’s helping other women advocate for themselves in a medical system that doesn’t always prioritize individualized care.
From a 1% Chance to Four Beautiful Boys
When Erica Hoke got married, she had a gut feeling that getting pregnant wouldn’t be easy. That feeling was confirmed when she went to a fertility doctor and received a daunting prognosis: seven different diagnoses, a 1% chance of conceiving naturally, and the news that she wasn’t even a candidate for IVF. Most people would have been crushed—and understandably so. But Erica refused to accept that as the final answer.
Instead of giving up, she decided to take a different approach. She focused on improving her fertility through diet, lifestyle changes, and traditional Chinese medicine, including acupuncture. Along the way, she worked with doctors while also advocating for her own health and testing. The result? Erica became the proud mom of four boys, including a set of twins, over a span of seven years. Her youngest was born when she was 43 years old.
Erica’s journey is living proof that healing is possible, even when the odds are stacked against you.
The Power of Advocacy and Individualized Care
One of the most important lessons Erica shares is the need for women to advocate for themselves in the medical system. Many women assume that fertility specialists are there to uncover the root causes of infertility, but that’s not always the case. According to Erica, “Reproductive endocrinologists aren’t necessarily trying to fix your infertility. They’re using medication to manipulate your body in the hopes of achieving pregnancy.”
This realization led Erica to take charge of her own health. She became proactive about asking questions, seeking second opinions, and ensuring that she had the tests she needed. For example, after two exploratory surgeries that found “nothing,” Erica insisted on a third procedure, which revealed numerous fibroids that had been missed earlier. Removing those fibroids dramatically improved her quality of life and her chances of conceiving.
Her advice to other women? Don’t settle for a one-size-fits-all approach. Advocate for individualized care and take the time to understand what’s happening in your body.
Healing Through Lifestyle Changes
While working with doctors was part of Erica’s journey, she also took significant steps to heal her body through diet and lifestyle changes.
“At the time, I thought I had a pretty good diet,” she says, “but when I got intentional about eating to support fertility, I realized there was a lot of room for improvement.”
She also explored alternative therapies like acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine, which helped her address underlying imbalances. By focusing on what she could control, Erica created a healthier environment for her body to conceive and carry a pregnancy.
Her story underscores an important point: small, consistent changes can make a big difference. Whether it’s improving your diet, reducing stress, or seeking holistic therapies, there are many ways to support your fertility naturally.
Breaking the Silence Around Infertility
Infertility can feel incredibly isolating, partly because it’s still a topic many people don’t talk about openly. Erica is working to change that by sharing her story and encouraging other women to do the same.
“We like to think we’re open about these things, but infertility is still something a lot of people don’t feel comfortable discussing,” she says. “The more we talk about it, the less alone people will feel.”
Erica also highlights the importance of normalizing conversations about menstrual health, pain, and other topics that often get dismissed. “We’re taught to normalize pain and discomfort,” she explains. “But those symptoms can be signs that something’s not right. It’s so important to listen to your body and push for answers when something feels off.”
A Movement for Change
Erica’s work isn’t just about helping women get pregnant; it’s about empowering them to take charge of their health and lives. She’s part of a larger movement to challenge the status quo and make personalized, holistic care the norm.
“It’s not about rejecting medicine or doctors,” she says. “It’s about pairing medical care with what you can do for yourself. It’s about finding what works for you as an individual.”
Through her coaching and advocacy, Erica is helping women everywhere realize that they have the power to make their own choices and create their own paths to parenthood. Her message is one of hope, resilience, and the importance of trusting your instincts.
Erica Hoke’s Advice for Women Facing Infertility
If you’re navigating infertility, here are a few takeaways from Erica’s journey:
- Advocate for yourself: Don’t be afraid to ask questions, seek second opinions, and push for the tests and treatments you need.
- Focus on what you can control: Small changes in diet, lifestyle, and stress management can have a big impact on your fertility.
- Combine approaches: Traditional medicine and holistic therapies can complement each other. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
- Share your story: Talking about your experience can help break the stigma around infertility and create a sense of community.
The Need for Support: Why You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone
If you’re struggling with infertility, it’s crucial to know that you deserve support. Whether through counseling, community groups, or trusted friends and family, finding a safe space to process your emotions can make a world of difference.
As Erica Hoke, a passionate advocate for women navigating infertility, explains, “This is not something you can bootstrap your way through.” Infertility isn’t just a physical challenge—it’s a journey filled with emotional ups and downs, financial strain, and sometimes, profound loss.
The most misunderstood aspect of infertility? The relentless grief cycle. Every unsuccessful month feels like a loss, compounded for those who face miscarriages or stillbirths along the way. Acknowledging this pain and seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward healing.
Why Infertility Is on the Rise
Infertility is no longer a rare occurrence. According to the World Health Organization, it’s now recognized as a common condition affecting millions. So, why is this happening?
One major culprit is the modern environment. Hormone-disrupting chemicals in personal care products, cleaning supplies, and even our food supply are contributing factors. As awareness grows, many people are becoming more intentional about what they consume and how they care for their bodies.
“We’re in a movement of seeing what other things we can do besides just going to a doctor and being prescribed medication,” Erica shares. Alternative approaches like acupuncture, chiropractic care, and holistic treatments are gaining popularity—and for good reason.
The First Step Toward Healing: Tuning Into Your Body
If you’re ready to explore a different path, the first step is tuning into how you truly feel. Start by asking yourself:
- Are you sleeping well?
- Is your diet as healthy as it could be?
- Are you pushing through discomfort instead of addressing it?
Erica’s approach begins with a detailed assessment to understand each client’s unique journey. From overlooked medical tests to lifestyle adjustments, she helps women uncover the root causes of their struggles.
“I believe there’s always a root cause,” Erica says. “Whether it’s gut health, toxin exposure, or something else, we just have to keep digging until we find it.”
Small Changes, Big Impact
For those hesitant to take the first step, it’s important to remember that healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. Erica offers a variety of free resources on her website, including checklists and a five-day jumpstart program, to help women begin their journey toward better health.
These changes don’t just impact fertility—they improve overall well-being, strengthen relationships, and set the foundation for a healthier future.
The Ripple Effect of Holistic Healing
One of the most empowering aspects of Erica’s work is the ripple effect it creates. As women learn to care for their bodies and minds, these lessons often extend to their families. Children grow up in healthier environments, free from some of the challenges their parents faced.
“Making these changes might seem daunting at first,” Erica explains, “but over time, they become second nature. And the benefits extend far beyond fertility—they touch every part of your life.”
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re feeling frustrated, stuck, or unheard in your journey with infertility, know that there is hope. Erica’s resources and community offer a compassionate space to explore solutions that truly work for you.
Visit EricaHoke.com to access free resources, join her supportive Facebook group, or learn more about her one-on-one consultations.
Final Thoughts
Infertility is not a reflection of your worth or strength. It’s a challenge that deserves compassion, understanding, and proper support. As you navigate this journey, remember that you are not alone—and you don’t have to do it alone.
Let’s start the conversation and help each other heal. Share this post with someone who might need it, leave a comment below, and don’t forget to subscribe to the Boss Mom Podcast for more empowering stories and insights.
Guest Bio
Erica Hoke is an Author, Publisher, Infertility Mentor & Empowerment Coach who’s on a mission to empower infertility patients and disrupt the reproductive medical system.
At 35, Erica was told she had less than a 1% chance of ever conceiving naturally after struggling for years with endometriosis, uterine fibroids, PCOS, thyroid disease, factor 5 Leiden and MTHFR – so she refused to participate in traditional IVF or IUI methods and instead committed to getting to the bottom of her infertility issues via diet, lifestyle changes and traditional Chinese medicine. Today this fierce mom of four shares her inspiring story as a means to give hope to those still seeking a family through alternate paths. Through her free support group, group coaching opportunities and one-on-one sessions Erica mentors’ others through their own journeys while teaching them how to collaborate with their doctors in order to systematically address their obstacles before pursuing invasive and expensive treatments.
For those who have battled and overcome infertility, Erica offers an opportunity to heal through book collaborations and the sharing of their stories – all in the hopes of helping others on their journeys.
For more information, head to https://ericahoke.com/ and also check out her free resources.
October 5, 2023