Parenthood is a beautiful, transformative experience, but let’s be honest—it also brings up deep questions about identity, purpose, and fulfillment. Moms and dads alike often find themselves wondering, Is this it? Have I peaked? These questions, layered with guilt and self-doubt, are more common than we think.

At Social Media Marketing World, I had a deep conversation with my brother, Derek Parker, about the different but intersecting experiences of moms and dads as they navigate career aspirations, personal fulfillment, and family life. Our conversation revealed a significant truth: while both men and women feel the pull of purpose beyond parenthood, their journeys to self-discovery often take different paths.

The Hidden Struggles of Moms and Dads & Fulfillment

Moms, in particular, face a unique challenge. Society has swung from the expectation that a partner will “complete” them to an extreme form of self-sufficiency that often leads to exhaustion. The pressure to be the perfect mom, maintain a household, contribute financially, and still have a personal identity is overwhelming.

This struggle has led many moms to turn to online content creation—not just as a source of income, but as a way to rediscover themselves. It’s less about making money and more about being more.

For dads, the journey often looks different. Men are traditionally conditioned to be providers. They’re told that hard work will lead to satisfaction, but many reach a point where they’ve done everything “right”—stable job, house, family—and still feel like something’s missing. Unlike moms, who often seek community, dads tend to internalize their struggles, leading to a quieter but equally profound search for meaning.

Why We Feel Guilty for Wanting More

One of the biggest hurdles both moms and dads face is guilt. If we feel unfulfilled, does it mean we don’t love our kids enough? If we chase our dreams, are we being selfish? This guilt often keeps parents stuck, afraid to acknowledge that personal growth and fulfillment are not only valid but essential.

The rise of social media exacerbates this feeling. We see curated versions of people’s lives—the perfect marriages, the dream jobs, the adventurous families—and it makes us feel like we missed the memo. The algorithm knows what we crave, and if we’re not careful, it feeds our insecurities, making us feel even more inadequate.

Men’s and Women’s Paths to Fulfillment

For many women, fulfillment comes from community. They turn to online groups, business ventures, or social circles where they can express their struggles and feel seen. They create content, not just for profit, but to connect with others who understand the internal tug-of-war between being a mom and being themselves.

Men, on the other hand, tend to seek fulfillment in control. My brother, for example, found solace in his workshop. Tinkering with projects gave him a sense of agency when other areas of his life felt out of his control. This small act of creativity cascaded into other areas—health, finances, and even starting a business.

But men often lack the strong social networks that women naturally build. Studies show that men who have close friendships live longer, yet societal expectations make it harder for them to seek support. The result? Many men go through major life changes in isolation, missing out on the benefits of shared wisdom and encouragement.

Breaking Free from the “Shoulds”

One of the biggest takeaways from our conversation is that both men and women need to give themselves permission to want more.

• Moms need to know that taking time for themselves—whether through a business, a creative project, or even just a break—is not selfish.
• Dads need spaces where they can openly explore their emotions, dreams, and struggles without fear of judgment.
• Both need to redefine success beyond traditional gender roles.

At the end of the day, personal growth isn’t about abandoning responsibilities—it’s about integrating all parts of yourself so that you can show up as a better parent, partner, and individual.

The Road Ahead: Embracing the Journey

Parenthood doesn’t mean the end of personal fulfillment; it means redefining it. Whether you’re a mom finding your voice online or a dad rediscovering creativity, the key is to acknowledge your desires without shame.

And maybe, just maybe, the goal isn’t to reach a final destination of self-acceptance, but to keep evolving. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that life—and our roles in it—are constantly changing.