Hey, beautiful boss mom. Pull up a chair.

This week I brought on Em Connors from The Creative Bodega, and I have to be honest about how this conversation came to be. I saw a Reel Em posted during the whole “Yap Challenge” moment (you probably saw it too, one creator went viral, made millions almost overnight, and it broke the internet’s brain for about two weeks). Em’s Reel called it out. She said what a lot of us were quietly thinking. And I felt so seen that I DM’d her and said, “We have to talk about this on the show.”

What came out of that conversation wasn’t really about one viral creator. It was about comparison, confidence, money trauma, and what it actually looks like to build something slow and steady while someone next to you seems to win the lottery overnight.

If you’ve had a rough week of scrolling and wondering what’s wrong with you, this one’s for you.

The Week I Had to Unfollow Her Six Times

I’ll be honest with you. When I saw this creator’s launch numbers, I had a full week of what I can only describe as low-grade depression. Not because I didn’t want good things for her. I did. I still do. But because I was sitting in my own big, liminal growth season with Boss Mom, trying to rebuild after stepping back for a year and a half (my mom’s cancer diagnosis, my ex-husband remarrying, a long relationship ending, all in the same stretch of time), and watching someone catch a wave that fast made my own pace feel like failure, which, if I’m honest, is just feeling guilty as a working mom wearing a different outfit.

Em had the same week.

“I unfollowed her like six times being like, ‘Oh my God, I just can’t see it, because I’m in this really liminal growth space for my own big vision.'” — Em

That’s the part nobody says out loud. You can be genuinely happy for someone and still feel like you got punched in the gut every time her name shows up in your feed. Two things can be true.

She’s Not “New.” She’s Just New at Telling You She’s New

Here’s what Em and I dug into that actually mattered. This creator wasn’t a newbie. She’d had a business for close to a decade, just in a different niche, and she’d been doing video that whole time. What made her different wasn’t the skill. It was the permission she gave everyone else.

“It’s less about the idea that she has no idea what she’s doing and more about the idea she came online and said, ‘I’m not sure how this is gonna turn out, but I’m gonna tell you how much I’m making, I’m gonna test, I’m gonna mess around.’ I think she gave everybody permission to dabble.” — Em

That’s a powerful thing to give people. But it also means you and I, who’ve been doing this for 5, 10, almost 15 years now, can’t pretend to be new. We’re not selling “look what’s possible if you just try.” We’re selling something steadier. And that’s not a lesser offer. It’s a different one.

The Real Number Behind Every Viral Launch

Before you spiral over someone else’s numbers, sit with this one, because it changed how I look at every big launch I see online.

If a creator has 12,000 people in a program and 8,000 of them are leaving glowing reviews, that sounds like proof it works for everyone. It’s not. That’s still only about 10% of the people who bought. On average, roughly 80% of people in any program won’t get results. Another 10% get good results. Maybe 10% get great ones. That’s not a knock on the program. That’s just how humans and follow-through work, and it’s true of your programs too, not just hers.

Follower count means even less than you think. I know people with a million followers who aren’t making real money, and people with under 5,000 followers who are. Comparing your business to a headline number is comparing yourself to a story you don’t actually have the full data on. If you want real numbers instead of vibes, that’s exactly why market research groups are your business’s secret weapon, so you’re measuring yourself against your own actual customers, not someone else’s highlight reel.

Where the Real Block Actually Lives

Em and I have both run memberships and programs for years, and we see the same thing over and over when women come into our worlds.

“When people come into our app, number one frustration or block: self-doubt. It’s either self-doubt or, ‘I don’t know what to do next.’ There is no other answer. Maybe 2% say, ‘I don’t feel like I have the right support.'” — Dana

Not lack of strategy. Not lack of a good offer. Self-doubt, and not knowing the next step. That’s it. That’s the whole list, 90% of the time.

And it makes sense why. So many of us were raised to believe that asking for money, wanting more, or putting ourselves forward online is somehow rude, or inauthentic, or icky. Women are generally taught to manage a budget, not expand toward more. So when you watch someone else expand fast and loud, it doesn’t just trigger comparison. It bumps against a belief you were handed decades before you ever started a business. If that’s you, it might be less about willpower and more about learning how to rewire your brain to achieve more in less time, instead of trying to muscle through the belief with sheer grit.

Bravery Isn’t Safe. It’s on the Internet.

Here’s the part of this conversation that stuck with me the most. We build communities and safe spaces on purpose, and that matters. But we can’t pretend the internet itself is safe.

“The bravery isn’t in a safe community. The bravery is being done on the freaking internet.” — Dana

When you post your unfiltered face, your real voice, your story, someone out there is going to tell you it’s brave of you to show up “like that.” That comment can land two totally different ways depending on where you’re standing that day. Sometimes it’s kind. Sometimes it confirms the exact insecurity you were already fighting.

That’s why a community isn’t just about celebrating wins together. It has to hold the harder question too: how do you stay yourself when the world doesn’t always accept who you are?

Money Trauma Looks Different for Everyone

This is the part of the conversation I think about the most, days later.

Em told a story about her dad, who owned an auto body shop and would barter, discount, and give his work away because he wanted people’s lives to be easier, even at real cost to himself and his own health.

“My dad literally died giving. He never painted his truck because he was always taking care of everybody else first.” — Em

Em has a little truck of her own now, painted with hearts. She and her brother have a phrase for it: paint your truck. Meaning, take care of yourself and your own family’s stability too, not just everyone else’s.

My money story looks different but lands in the same place. My dad, grandfather, and great-grandfather were all entrepreneurs, and the first question my dad ever asked me was, “How’s business?” Which really meant, how much money are you making, and is that number proof you’re doing okay. I’ve done real work in therapy untangling what success actually means to me, separate from that question.

Whatever your money story is, it’s probably not really about money. It’s about worthiness, safety, or what you watched your parents believe about wealth. And it’s almost always quietly running the show when comparison spikes.

Launches Aren’t Built for Moms (And That’s Allowed)

One thing Em said made me want to stand up and cheer.

“Launches are not built for moms. Summers are seasonal for us and our kids, our aging parents, our own bodies and cycles. Our lives are seasonal, whether we like it or not.” — Em

Watching that creator’s launch land in the exact season I usually launch something myself, I felt the pull to scrap my plan and chase hers. Instead, I paused. I reminded myself I’d already decided to slow down that month on purpose, revamp some backend systems, and protect the season I was actually in. Part of protecting it meant admitting, out loud, the truth about working at home with kids: some weeks are half-finished tasks and interrupted focus, and the launch calendar doesn’t care. Staying in your own lane isn’t falling behind. It’s staying in integrity with the life you actually have.

Support Doesn’t Always Look Like a Like

We also talked about something smaller but just as real: the ache of putting yourself out there and having the people closest to you go quiet. A best friend who never taps a heart on your story. Family who never engage but always say, “I don’t know how you do it,” in person.

“There’s something inside of your friend that doesn’t feel good in her heart or her head. It has nothing to do with you.” — Dana

Most of the time, silence from people you love isn’t a verdict on your work. It’s usually their own unspoken comparison, their own unmet need, playing out somewhere you can’t see. It still hurts. It’s just not a signal to change course.

It’s the same principle behind connection-based parenting: the relationship isn’t measured by one reaction or one missed like, it’s built in the pattern over time.

The Actual Takeaway

You are allowed to be thrilled for someone else’s overnight win and still feel the sting of it. You are allowed to build slowly, seasonally, and steadily, and let that be enough. Most of what looks like a flood of proof online is a fraction of the real story, and most of what blocks you isn’t a bad strategy. It’s self-doubt, a money story you inherited, or simply not knowing the next right step.

So this week, instead of measuring your business against someone else’s highlight reel, ask yourself the more useful question: what’s actually true for my season, my capacity, and my own next step?

Paint your own truck. Build it steady. You’re not behind.

Your Next Step

If this stirred something up for you:

• Come into the free Boss Mom Community. This isn’t just a hangout. It’s where we help you get clear on your goals, build the focus and confidence skills that comparison tries to steal, and do business differently in the season you’re actually in. You get free networking events, mindset workshops, daily mindset audios, real connection with other members, and a dedicated app that’s completely off social media. It’s free.
• When you’re ready to level up, Boss Mom+ is where you go. That’s where we help you build the right marketing plan for your business, plus the ongoing implementation support to actually hit your financial goals.
• Check out The Content Coven if you want help building a magnetic brand and making showing up on social media easier. Em’s newsletter, 3, 2, 1 Create, is worth the subscribe too.

I’ll see you next week.

xo, Dana