If you’re waiting for someone to notice how amazing you are and hand you a promotion… that’s never going to happen. And once you accept that? Everything changes.

When you own your own business, you’re the only one who can decide to give yourself the promotion you deserve. To make more money. Get a new title. Take on more leveraged responsibility so you’re doing less but managing more.

And I know—I know—this is one of those things we don’t realize when we start our own businesses. We’re so used to the corporate model where somebody taps you on the shoulder and says, “Hey, we’ve got this position available for you. Come move up through the ranks.”

But that’s not how this works.

We have to climb our own ladder and move through our own business. (I literally wrote a book about this called Climb Your Own Ladder—it’s so good, I love to quote myself.)

But here’s what I’m realizing, especially for us moms: we don’t just need to figure out the different roles we play in our business. We don’t just need to want to climb our own ladder.

We actually need the mentorship to believe we can.

And that belief? That’s what’s missing for most of you.

I’m Not Trying to Make You Feel Bad Here

Right now you’re probably feeling one of two ways:

Either you’ve got this pit in your stomach because deep down you know I’m right and you’ve been keeping yourself stuck…

Or you’re like, “Yeah, but Dana, I’d really love to be angry at somebody else right now. I’d really love for this to be somebody else’s fault.”

And honestly? I feel that way a lot of times too. It’s way easier to blame the algorithm or the economy or your email list or whatever.

But that is not a useful place for us moms to be.

Not only is it not useful for us, it’s not useful for our kids to see that.

Think about it. If something gets in your way—whether it’s your own belief system, whether it’s the opportunity in the space, whether it’s finances, whether it’s whatever it is—do you want your kids to see you just sit back and say, “Well, it is what it is. I’m not gonna be able to reach my goal, so I better give up”?

We don’t want our kids to do that. We would never tell our kids to do that.

So I’m sitting here for you, mom, to tell you that it is good for your children for you to understand how to get past yourself and give yourself a promotion.

Because I know you. I know you’re way more likely to do things that you know are for your families or your children than you are to do for yourself. So let’s use that, okay?

Because without this? You’re gonna stay in the same job—whether it’s one that you built or not—forever. Making the same pay. Complaining about the same things. Doing the same stuff without any retirement in sight.

This is part of understanding the intersection of business and parenting—recognizing that what’s good for your business growth is also what’s good for your kids to witness.

Wait, Retirement? I Just Started This Thing!

Yeah, I know. But stay with me.

We have to recognize that in this new world where we’re all starting our own businesses, we still have to have a promotion plan and we still have to have a retirement plan.

Not putting money in your 401k—I mean, yes, do that too. But I’m talking about: How do you actually get out of the content game?

The service-providing, doing game? Orwhatever it is you are doing?

Because I can guarantee it—even if you say you love it now, you’re not going to want to do it for the rest of your life.

The seasons of your kids will change. You will change. Your hormones will change. (Can I get an amen?)

And we need to recognize this is a ladder we need to figure out how to climb.

It’s so much about how we feel, what we believe we deserve, and what we believe we’re capable of. And—this is the big one for us moms—how much we can handle the feeling that we’re being inconvenient, creating conflict, having difficult conversations.

Those are all things that us moms shy away from.

But we can’t afford to anymore.

The Three Things Actually Keeping You Stuck

Okay, before I get too ranty (who am I kidding, I’m already ranty), let me break down what’s actually happening here.

After coaching thousands of moms—like literally thousands of women, and a ton of men too—I can tell you that the biggest thing keeping you from your next level is this:

You have no idea that a promotion is what you need.

You don’t look at it like a promotion.

Instead, you’re saying things like:

• My clients don’t pay me enough
• I can’t seem to make enough money the way I want
• I’m not even sure where to find clients
• That thing I made isn’t selling

You’re looking at it as these separate problems. Like, “How am I making money? Who am I working with? What am I doing? What am I not doing?”

But if you stopped for a moment and just flipped it—if you thought about you being in a position within your own organization—how are you then promoting yourself? And what would that promotion be?

The promotion would most likely be: making more money by doing more leveraged strategic work.

Not working harder. Not doing MORE. Working smarter and more strategically.

And honestly? A lot of this comes down to better time management skills—but not in the way you think. It’s not about squeezing more into your day. It’s about doing higher-value work that actually moves you forward.

Problem #2: You Don’t Know What You’d Be Promoting Yourself For

Here’s the thing. In order to give yourself that promotion into a strategic role, you need to prove your knowledge base in the area that you’re in so you can tell other people how to do it.

Which means if you don’t have any systems, if you don’t have any organization, if you don’t have any area of specialty—how are you going to know to give yourself a promotion?

You won’t know what to promote yourself for or to.

So that first level is clarity in what your systems are, right?

Our Nurture to Convert map—if you do it on your own business—will help you see where your gaps are so you can start seeing: What is my system? What is my results framework? What are these things that I’m doing? How could I systematize this?

Because ultimately, whether you are going to hire somebody to help you or not, you need to understand how and why you’re doing things. And what particular way you do them that’s unique to you.

Only then can you move up to tell other people—whether it’s internal to your own organization or whether it’s teaching other people how to do the thing you’ve just done.

And look, I know you’re juggling a lot. Maybe you’re homeschooling while building your business, or dealing with the chaos of motherhood while trying to show up professionally. I get it. But that’s exactly WHY you need systems, so you can work with your life, not against it.

Problem #3: You Don’t Have the Skills (Yet)

Okay, so now you know you need a promotion. You know what systems you’d be promoting yourself for.

Now the only thing we have to do is ask: What skills do I need to acquire in order to fully embody this thing?

Maybe you need coaching skills.

This is exactly why we created the Nurture to Convert Mapping Strategist Certification. Our women come in and they’re often service providers, virtual assistants, or they’ve become kind of an expert in their own space—and now they wanna move into being a strategist or coach.

They want to be able to help create clarity and strategies around what a business is going to do next, especially in the messaging, ideal client targeting, offers, all of that stuff, right?

So that certification gives them the coaching skills, the consulting skills, the facilitation skills, and the systems around what kind of packages we do and how we sell it and how we implement it.

So that they can then have the skills confidently to move themselves up into a strategy position from virtual assistant or service provider to strategist.

Here’s the Key Thing Most People Get Wrong

In our certification, we teach women how to sell before we teach them how to facilitate the actual calls. Before we even get them certified.

I want them to have that skill. Because the more confident they feel in being able to talk about it and talk about how it works and how it might help somebody in their business or life, then the more confident they’re gonna be to just go, “Okay, well now all I gotta do is just learn the skill.”

But if we wait to learn the skill to give us confidence to talk about it? It never works.

So we’ve gotta go: What do we need to learn to do that?

And that’s it. That’s all you need to do. And you do that over and over and over again.

We call it your stages of norm, so that how much you make and what you’re good at and what you’re known for, it starts to iteratively grow.

This is exactly the kind of work we do inside the free BossMom community. You’ll connect with other mom entrepreneurs who are moving from service provider to strategist, from solopreneur to business owner, from content creator to thought leader.

Members are currently mapping out their next promotions, identifying the skills they need to acquire, and holding each other accountable to stop waiting for permission and start claiming what they’ve earned.

Join the free BossMom community here to connect with moms who are climbing their own ladders and supporting each other through every stage.

The Conversation I Keep Having

I’ve been having this conversation a lot lately with the women I coach.

You’re thinking of yourself as a copywriter or a website designer or a declutterer or a wellness coach, whatever it is, right?

But ultimately what you’re doing is you gotta move up into the level of being a strategist who doesn’t just know the thing you are good at, but knows how to coach people on how to be good at that thing.

Or knows how to give a system for whatever that thing is that you could then scale.

And that’s the next level.

That’s the promotion you’re looking for.

The Truth You Need to Hear Right Now

The biggest thing I wanna tell you guys is this:

Everybody is worthy of the promotion.

They can make more money. Everybody can have amazing mentees. You have enough knowledge to move up into the next rung of your ladder, wherever that is.

And you need to be responsible for looking at your trajectory as: what is your next promotion?

Otherwise, you’ll stay where you are forever. And you don’t want that to happen to your kids, so don’t let it happen to you.

This connects directly to finding your purpose—because your purpose isn’t to stay stuck in the same role forever. Your purpose evolves as you do. And giving yourself permission to promote yourself is part of honoring that evolution.

Model, Don’t Martyr (This Is Everything)

Look, it does them way better—way, way better—for us to figure ourselves out and achieve our dreams and move forward for us and for them to see that happen…

Than for us to give all of that up for our children, hoping that they turn out the way we want.

They’re gonna turn out awesome if you turn out awesome.

And you have complete control over that.

I know you do. I’ve seen it over and over again.

And that is what I want for you.

So What’s Your Next Move?

Figure out what’s the next promotion you want for yourself.

Not what you think you should want. Not what would make someone else happy.

What promotion would actually move you forward?

Put it down in the comments if you’re watching this on YouTube. Or you can always email me at dana@bossmom.com.

Because nobody else is coming to give you that promotion.

But here’s the good news: you don’t need them to.

You’ve got everything you need right now. You just need to claim it.

If you’re ready to make that move from service provider to strategist, the Messaging Map Strategist Certification might be exactly what you need. It’s designed specifically for moms who are done trading time for money and ready to step into strategic, leveraged work that pays what you’re actually worth.

I heart your face as always, and I will see you next time.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know what to promote myself to if I’ve always been a service provider?

Okay, so here’s the pattern I see over and over again: if you’re a copywriter, you become a messaging strategist. If you’re a website designer, you become a brand strategist. If you’re a wellness coach, you become a wellness business strategist.

See what’s happening? You’re moving from doing the thing to teaching others how to do the thing or creating systems around the thing. That’s the promotion.

What if I don’t feel qualified to promote myself yet?

Honey, none of us feel qualified. That’s kind of the point.

You already have enough knowledge to move up to the next rung of your ladder. The question isn’t whether you’re qualified—it’s what specific skills you need to acquire to feel confident in that next role.

And here’s the thing: in our Nurture to Convert certification, we teach you to sell the thing before you master facilitating it. Because confidence comes from talking about it, not from waiting until you feel “ready.”

Spoiler alert: you’ll never feel completely ready.

How do I create systems when I’m just doing everything intuitively?

This is so common! You’re doing amazing work, but it’s all just kind of in your head, right?

Use a framework like the Nurture to Convert map to identify your gaps and see what you’re actually doing. Ask yourself: What is my results framework? What are these things that I’m doing? How could I systematize this?

Even if it feels intuitive, there’s a pattern to how you work. Your job is to document it, refine it, and turn it into your unique methodology that you can then teach or scale.

What’s the difference between a promotion plan and a retirement plan for entrepreneurs?

Love this question. A traditional retirement plan is about putting money in a 401k. An entrepreneurial retirement plan is about getting yourself out of the doing.

How do you actually get out of the content game? How do you actually get out of the service-providing, doing game?

Your promotion plan should iteratively move you toward more leveraged work—coaching instead of doing, strategizing instead of executing, managing instead of creating.

Why do you say we need to do this for our kids?

Because model, don’t martyr.

It does them way better for us to figure ourselves out and achieve our dreams and move forward—for us and for them to see that happen—than for us to give all of that up for our children.

When your kids see you recognize you’ve outgrown a role and confidently promote yourself, they learn they don’t have to stay stuck either. They learn to advocate for themselves, recognize their own growth, and not wait for permission.

How often should I be promoting myself?

You do this over and over and over again—the cycle of recognizing you need a promotion, identifying what systems and expertise qualify you, and acquiring the skills to step into it confidently.

We call this your stages of norm where how much you make, what you’re good at, and what you’re known for continuously grows.

As a rule of thumb? Every 12-18 months, you should be evaluating whether you’ve outgrown your current role in your own business.

About the Author

Dana Malstaff is the founder of BossMom, a community and education platform serving thousands of mom entrepreneurs, and creator of the Nurture to Convert messaging methodology. She is the author of Climb Your Own Ladder and specializes in helping moms build profitable, scalable businesses that work with their family life rather than against it. Dana created the Messaging Map Strategist Certification to help service providers and coaches promote themselves into strategic, leveraged roles where they can charge what they’re worth and work less. She believes in “model, don’t martyr”—showing your kids what’s possible by achieving your own dreams. Connect with Dana and other mom entrepreneurs in the free BossMom community.

This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Look, the Classic Cuddle Blanket is life-changing. I’m not even exaggerating. It’s made of bamboo viscose and feels like a weighted blanket of awesomeness. We had to get a second one because my daughter kept stealing mine. Go to cozyearth.com and use code BOSSMOM for 20% off. You’re gonna want to cuddle and do work in bed—it’s that good.