Hey, beautiful boss mom. Pull up a chair.

This one felt like catching up with an old friend, because it was. Chandler Bolt and I have known each other for years (he’s been on the show before), and since the last time we talked, he actually got married. So first of all, congratulations, Chandler. Second of all, you’ll see his wife in the photos for this one, because honestly, it felt more like him than another headshot.

Here’s what’s funny about this episode: Chandler doesn’t have kids yet. And somehow, he ended up giving some of the most useful family and parenting perspective we’ve had on the show in a while. Not because he’s lived it, but because he’s spent years watching closely, and he had something important to say about the gap between the life we say we’re building and the one we’re actually living day to day.

That gap ended up being the whole conversation, honestly. There’s the story you tell (on stage, in a book, on Instagram) and there’s the story you actually live, what you do behind closed doors, who you are when nobody’s watching, whether your business is built the way you say it is. Chandler and I got into where those two stories match up, where they don’t, and what happens when your kids, your team, or your audience notice the gap.

Quick heads up before we dive in: Chandler and I are teaming up for a free training on July 29th at 2pm Pacific / 5pm Eastern called The Three Key Principles to Growing Your Business With a Book. If you’ve ever thought about writing one (or started one four times and stalled), you’ll want a seat. I’ll drop the link at the end. Register here.

Ok, let’s get into it.

I built a big chunk of my business while my kids were toddlers, because I genuinely didn’t enjoy playing pretend games with them (still don’t, no shame). Now that they’re older, we take road trips together and watch shows together, and it’s some of my favorite time. Different season, different priorities, and that’s allowed. It’s actually the whole point.

If you’ve felt guilty for optimizing one season around work and another season around presence, that guilt is optional. The moms who build sustainable businesses are usually the ones who let themselves change. And if the season you’re in right now is more “surviving” than “optimizing,” I’ve written before about how to keep running a business when life is hard, that’s a season too, and it’s allowed.

Authenticity Is Your Unfair Advantage

Chandler told a story that stuck with me: when he first got into business, he was the youngest person in every room, so he tried to “vanilla” himself into looking more serious. Suits, bow ties, the whole costume. It worked, kind of. But it also flattened the thing that actually made people trust him.

“Authenticity is your unfair advantage.” — Chandler

He eventually found his way back to being louder, weirder, more himself, and that’s when things actually clicked. I remember meeting him years ago and thinking the exact same thing about him: he was running down conference aisles being ridiculous and having fun, and it was magnetic because it was real. The story he was telling and the story he was living finally matched up.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you: the version of you that gets rewarded almost never looks like the buttoned-up version you think you’re supposed to perform. It looks like the version that stopped worrying about who might not take you seriously. It’s the same thing AJ Vaden and I got into on personal branding done right: your personal brand isn’t a costume you build, it’s the parts of you that are already true, just less hidden.

Let the Right People Tell You the Truth

We closed on something that applies far beyond business.

Chandler said the kindest thing you can do for someone is tell them the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, and that most people are starved for honest feedback because everyone around them is too polite to give it. I feel this one personally. My brother recently came on as our fractional COO, and he’s said things to me that I did not want to hear.

“I’m an angry, bitter person at him for like a week, and then after a week I’m like, ‘Oh God, you were so right.'” — Dana

The trick isn’t finding people who never challenge you. It’s finding the one or two people you trust enough to actually sit with what they said, even when your first reaction is to get defensive. That’s where the real growth happens, in the week after you stop being mad and start being honest with yourself.

Your Next Step

If this conversation lit something up for you, here’s where to go next.

Join Chandler and me live on July 29th at 2pm Pacific / 5pm Eastern for a free training: The Three Key Principles to Growing Your Business With a Book. We’ll go deeper into everything we touched on here, especially how to actually turn what you know into something that grows your business. Register here.

Come hang out in the free Boss Mom Community. It’s not just a place to scroll. It’s where we help you get clarity on what season you’re actually in, what you’re optimizing for, and how to build a business that fits your real life. You’ll get free networking events, mindset workshops, daily mindset audios, and real connection with other members, all on our own app, off social media completely.

Ready to go deeper? Boss Mom+ is the level-up. It’s where we help you build the right marketing plan for your business and give you the ongoing support to actually implement it, so you hit your financial goals instead of just thinking about them.

I’ll see you next week.

xo, Dana